


we wingless angels fall

by Elvarya85



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Hair Braiding, M/M, Pre-Slash, and Steve helps, bucky adjusts back to regular life, happy fic, post-CATWS, this is mostly fluff and introspection, tony is only briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:36:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvarya85/pseuds/Elvarya85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky had shown up on Steve's doorstep one day, and Steve hadn't even hesitated to let him in.</p><p>It's been a few weeks now, and Steve is trying to help him adjust as best he can, but it's slow going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we wingless angels fall

**Author's Note:**

> Straight up, this came out of a [post I made on tumblr](http://buckysbeautifulthunderthighs.tumblr.com/post/104351582473/in-sudden-need-of-a-fic-where-the-winter-soldier) that said, "in sudden need of a fic where the winter soldier is still kinda adjusting back to life and he won’t really let anyone touch him except steve so steve like braids his hair or something" and so i decided to write the thing but it became more introspection from steve than anything else but w/e
> 
> beware for a rly cheesy ending idec
> 
> Also the title is a lyric from the song Silhouette of a Life by 10 Years. I don't necessarily think the song fits particularly well, but it started running through my head halfway through writing this, and something about it made me think the title needed to come from it. Either way, the song is beautiful, and definitely worth a listen.

It was still odd for Steve, to see Bucky in his apartment.

Sometimes it almost seemed like a dream. Sometimes he’d even convince himself that it was and round a corner and Bucky would still be there.

He’d get out of the shower and walk out of the bathroom holding a towel loosely around his waist, and start, because Bucky would be sitting there in the dim light of the rising sun waiting for him, and damn if he didn’t look so beautiful that it took Steve’s breath away.

Because it had to be a dream. No way he was this lucky, no way he deserved this gift.

Of course, it wasn’t exactly Bucky, and he knew that. Not yet, at least.

But Steve was certain that something inside...whoever this was was shifting. He’d see it in the man’s face, in his eyes. The same warmth and defiance that had once written itself so deeply across Bucky’s features, that it was almost disorienting to see the face he knew so well, looking so innocent and so scared.

Few people knew that Bucky was with Steve, andhe kept it that way. For his own piece of mind, and Bucky’s.

He was different.

Of course he was, but Steve kept having to remind himself of that. Bucky used to watch out for him. Bucky was the reason, really, that Steve hadn’t gotten flattened by every meatheaded bully that Steve had ever met before he got the serum.

And now everything was different between them, wasn’t it? Bucky wasn’t protecting him anymore, and Steve didn’t need his protection anyway.

“I guess it’s my turn to return the favor,” he murmured to himself, looking at himself in the mirror after he’d finished shaving.

He came back out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of loose cotton pajama pants with arc reactors all over them - courtesy of Stark - and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Bucky.

“Hey,” he said, voice soft, though he knew that Bucky wouldn’t be startled by him either way.

“Hey…” Bucky replied.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Fine…”

Steve knew he had nightmares, though he never asked about them. He’d hear Bucky at night, sometimes. He’d grunt, or pant, or sometimes cry out in fear. Steve had even woken him once or twice. But as soon as Bucky’s eyes opened, he was silent again.

Steve figured Bucky would tell him about them if and when he was ready, though he suspected he hadn’t asked because he himself wasn’t ready to know what Bucky saw when he closed his eyes.

They both sat there on his bed for a while, shoulder to shoulder, as the sun rose higher.

“I’m gonna go make breakfast,” Steve said. “Toast sound okay?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah.”

After breakfast, while Steve was clearing dishes, he said, “Stark is coming over later today to maybe fix whatever’s grinding in your arm.” Bucky had complained about it once or twice, and Steve had even started to hear it now, a faint grinding sound when Bucky moved his arm just the right way.

Even out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see Bucky tense at that.

He wasn’t all that used to being around anyone yet, and Steve was the only person he’d allowed to touch him without tensing or flinching since he’d shown up.

There’d been a knock on his door one afternoon, so quiet that Steve almost thought it was someone knocking next door. But when he opened it and looked out, Bucky was there, looking like he was about to fall over out of exhaustion. As soon as he saw Steve, some of the fear in his eyes had faded, and he’d allowed Steve to catch him and help him in onto the couch.

“Stark’s a good guy,” Steve assured him, coming back over. “He won’t mess anything up. He might suggest some upgrades, though. You don’t have to take anything he offers, and I’ll be right there the whole time.”

He was trying to be reassuring, but he also didn’t want to treat Bucky like a child.

Bucky just nodded, continuing to sit there.

It was something Steve had noticed Bucky would do. He’d sit somewhere, and then he just wouldn’t get up for the longest time. Steve had a guess that it was a result of his training. He sat where he was told, did as he was told, and didn’t go anywhere unless he was told to do so. And Steve really had no idea how to help him out of the habit, other than just giving him the time to figure out that he would be okay to get up and move about as he pleased.

Stark had shown up as promised, and been as professional as possible, at Steve’s urging. Bucky hadn’t flinched or tried to tear Tony’s head off for touching him as he ran the diagnostics and fixed whatever it was that was out of alignment and causing the grinding, though Steve had also stayed pressed against Bucky, hand on his other arm to keep him calm.

Bucky hadn’t relaxed until about an hour after Tony left the apartment, either.

About a week later, Steve had turned on Turner Classic Movies after dinner and been pleased when Bucky got up from the kitchen table almost immediately after dinner and wandered in to sit on the couch beside him. He’d been getting better with movement in the past week, he’d noticed. He’d get up and sit down when and where he pleased, though sometimes he looked a bit uncertain as he did so. He’d shift in his seat to find a better position. Bucky was pretty fidgety on the couch, actually, though Steve didn’t mind. He liked to feel Bucky moving against his arm, almost like he was reminding him that he was real, that he was there.

Bucky was silent as the movie started and his eyes were entirely focused on the TV screen, though Steve found himself entirely unable to focus on the movie now. He’d been wanting to see it, but now he just wanted to focus on Bucky. He’d had several weeks to get used to having him around, but still, it was moments like this, when Bucky was pressed close like it was nothing at all, and when Steve could smell his familiar scent, where he just couldn’t fully believe that this was real.

But he forced himself to look back at the screen as Bucky pulled his feet up onto the couch, tucking them to the side.

About twenty minutes later, Bucky shifted one way, then the other, and then slumped sideways so that his head was in Steve’s lap.

Steve was shocked at first, wondering if Bucky had passed out or something, until he noticed that Bucky’s eyes were still open, still just as focused on the screen, and he was shifting his legs so that they lay a bit more comfortably on top of each other.

Neither of them said a word but a smile slowly spread across Steve’s face and, hesitantly, he put one hand in Bucky’s hair. It was surprisingly soft and Steve ran his fingers through it, noticing what almost seemed like a happy sigh from Bucky, who was still watching the movie.

Steve kept at it, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair and playing with it even as the next movie started to play.

Bucky had a few little braids by the time the second movie ended. Steve was sure he noticed them in the mirror before he went to bed, but they were still there in the morning, along with the slightest smile; the first Steve had seen on his face in over seventy years. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated, here or on [tumblr](http://buckysbeautifulthunderthighs.tumblr.com/ask)!
> 
> Also, the link to the song the title is taken from can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDqpcQvWuD8)!


End file.
